Sounds Dirty

Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't:

• Have you looked through her briefs?
• He is one hard judge!
• Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
• His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
• Is it a penal offense?
• Better leave the handcuffs on.
• For $200 an hour, she better be good!
• Can you get him to drop his suit?
• The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
• Think you can get me off?

Like A Cow

The judicial process is like a cow. The public is impaled on its horns, the government has it by the tail, and all the while the lawyers are milking it.

Drunk on Trial

A drunk appears in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started!"