10 Commandments

The Ten Commandments display was recently removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move.
You can't post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, and Thou Shall Not Lie in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.

Realizing Your Age

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Well, you'll love this one... 
My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma, which had his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30 odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High school. 'Yes. Yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride. 'When did you graduate?' I asked. He answered, 'In 1967. Why do you ask?' 'You were in my class!' I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray-haired man asked, 'What did you teach?'

Great Defense

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.