Island Greeting

A cruise ship passed a tiny, isolated island. Everyone on board could see a bearded man on the island, shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?"
"I have no idea," said the Captain, "but every year when we pass by here, he goes nuts."

A Blonde, a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Shipwreck

There were three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea why, use your imagination). The three girls jumped off and swam to a nearby island. After being there a few days the brunette tried to swim to shore. She got about five miles off the island's shore and drowned. After a few days passed, the redhead decided that she would try. She got about half way and drowned. Now realizing all her friends were gone, the blonde decided to try, too. She swam for hours. She got to where she can see the shore, but she was so tired she decided to turn around and go back.

Bakersfield, California

I live in Bakersfield, California. At least it's not Barstow, a city that owes its existence to the fact that people traveling to Las Vegas needed a place to stop and take a sh*t. There was a toilet and they built a city around it.