A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road, when they hear the voice of an American from behind a sand dune, “Hey you bastards! One Marine is better than ten wimpy ISIS fighters!” The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over to the sand dune, where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes. After a minute of silence, the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than one hundred of you ISIS scumbags!” Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and a huge gun fight breaks out. After 10 minutes of battle, there is again silence, until the voice calls out again, “One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters.” The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought … then silence. Eventually, one badly wounded ISIS fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men … it’s a trap. There’s not just one marine over there….there’s two.”
Q: How do you stop a taliban tank?
A: Shoot the guy pushing it.
Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to him. He said: "Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"
Q: How do you blow up a terrorist iPhone?
A: Put it into airplane mode.
A terrorist was holding a dad at gunpoint:
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"