Shakespearean Answering Machine

(For Shakespeare lovers only:) So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee. 

Answering Machine - Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

Monty Python Answering Machine

English accent: Hello, you've reached the phone of Monty Python. I can't come to the phone right now because the witch has turned me into a newt! I'll call you back when I get better.