Password Hell

WEBSITE: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WEBSITE: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Virus Alert

There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated through the email system. If you get an email message with the subject: "VIRUSALERT!" do not open the mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second half of every text file on your system. VERY IMPORTANT:  If you do get this virus, the first thing dlkfjaiddfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj asdfsdg dluog av da[agj asdfajpg asdflasidffnm asd difvu asdfa vgoiae vdsofj we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adfjdl5gkj dkllj djf hsas9kaj kuieh nx3glkj gkdls kd li8siue ghkld hks1as dg 0vbwe ads gwefawe ads vewerwe dsf!

New Year Nerd Resolutions

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD
6. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
5. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
4. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
3. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
2. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
1. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.