Computer Terms

Q.180?
A. The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. state - of - the - art computer you can't afford.
Q. Obsolete? 
A. Any computer you own.
Q. Microsecond?
A. The time it takes for your State - of - the - art computer to become obsolete.
Q. Syntax Error 
A.  "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.
Q. GUI (pronounced "gooey")?
A. What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Q. Computer Chip?
A. Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
Q. Keyboard? 
A. The standard way to generate computer errors.
Q. Hard Drive?
A. The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.
Q. Portable Computer?
A.  A device invented to force business men to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.
Q.  Disk  Crash?
 A.  A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Q. Power User?
A.  Anyone who can format a disk from a DOS System.
Q. Update?
 A. A quick method of trashing ALL of your current software.

Tough Gaming

"When the gaming gets tough, bring out the cheat codes."

Y2K Solution

The government's system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999.
In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all Americans. There are many reasons for doing this:

1.  No Y2K problems.
2.  No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing E-Mails.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has funny lines all over the screen. What do I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a new document?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for re-booting my Etch-A-Sketch ?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch ?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch Document ?
A: Don't shake it.