Totals

Q: What did the calculator say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.

Adult Photos

Q: What do you do with a compressed folder of porn?
A: Unzip.

Operator Error

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an "Access Denied" message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters. Tech Support: "OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters." Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."