Sports Jokes - Golf Jokes

Note on the Fridge

I came home from the golf course today. The wife had left a note on the refrigerator, "IT'S NOT WORKING, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."
I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Divorce Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes)
Submitted BY: xXK33L0Xx

Bert's New Golf Shoes

Bert is 85 years old and always wanted a pair of soft spike golf shoes like Fred Couples wore on his tour.   So, seeing a pair on sale after his round, he bought them. He was so delighted with his purchase, he decided to wear them home to show the Mrs. Walking proudly into the house, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 83, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new golf shoes. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's  different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and  it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
“IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW GOLF SHOES!”
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "You shoulda bought a new hat!"

Categories: Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes)
Anonymous

Golf Balls!

Ok,  this idiot of the first order is invited for a game of golf for the first time, while in another country. He's totally enamoured with the golf ball because he's never seen anything like it before so he carries like, 30 of them back home to give away as souvenirs. While passing through the customs on his way back, the customs officer, who's perhaps a bigger idiot than this guy, notices his pockets bulging with all these golf balls and can't figure it out. So he asks our man, "What the hell is all this?!" To which he replies, "Oh they're just golf balls." So the customs officer goes, "Oh oh! You mean like tennis elbow?"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sports Jokes (Golf Jokes)
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Anonymous