Sex Jokes - Gay Jokes

Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, "I want you to help me get a divorce." The Lawyer says, "OK, what are your grounds?" "My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with." "What do you mean?" asked the attorney. "Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?" "No," replied the woman, "and neither does the little queer."

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he had gotten circumcised last week. "Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy. So the first guy promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation. "Oooh!" squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"

A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups. As he is examining her she hears him saying "mmmm... mmmhmmm". He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done. In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments. "Oh, that" he says. " I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vaginal area that I have ever seen in all my years of practice." The young woman proudly smiled and replied, "Why thank you! I have a woman come in twice a week and clean it!" 

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.
"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself." Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.
"You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!" So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. "Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

Q: What is the difference between a priest and a homosexual?

A: The way they say ahhhh-men.