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Sex Jokes
Little Johnny's Dad
Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs. "How do you know that?" asks his teacher. "I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"
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Mike Tyson Gets Good News
Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best: find a woman with whom he may "commiserate." After a wild night of getting it on, it's time for the young lady to leave. As she's getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation.
She says, "Lotsa guys want to know how it was. Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like first?"
Mike thinks for a moment and says, "What the hell, give me the good news."
She tells him, "The good news is that you're bigger than Magic Johnson."
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Therapy
Having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
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