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Sex Jokes
Gas and Free Sex
A man is driving down the freeway when he sees a sign that says, "Get gas and free sex here". So obviously the guy was interested, so he stopped, filled up went inside to pay. "Pick a number from 1 - 10 to get free sex.", said the cashier. "Uh, okay, 3!" the man replied."Nope! Sorry play again". So the guy drove around for weeks always getting gas at the same place, because he wanted his free sex. One day he was really ticked, "This has got to be rigged! I have never gotten the number to have free sex!" He screamed. "Oh no! It's not rigged, just ask your wife, she won 3 times last week alone!"
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A Caring Husband
A couple just checked into a hotel and the clerk asks the man after helping him with his luggage " Anything else?" " NO, thanks" " Maybe, your wife needs something ?" "Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder." " Do you sell greeting cards ?"
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Tip of the Iceberg
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to see if they had a barber. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, swiped his credit card and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life. Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He swipped his card again and inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured. The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives." The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around he again swiped his card then unzipped his pants and stuck his "thing" into the opening - with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for two weeks. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his "thingy"... Which now had a button sewed on the tip.
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