New Insurance Policy

After their house burned down, Mary Ann, his wife, called the insurance company. Mary Ann tells the insurance agent, "We had that house insured for one hundred thirty thousand dollars and we want our money." The agent replies, "Whoa there, just a minute. It doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of your house and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." Mary Ann thought for a moment and then told the agent, "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

The Dreams

A husband and wife had been fighting for 3-4 days. The next morning they got up and were still not talking. The wife broke the silence by saying she had a dream last night. The husband asked her about what. She said she had a dream she was at an auction. They were auctioning off Penises. The little ones went for $500.00 and the big ones went for $1000.00. The husband throws out his chest and curiously asked what one like his went for. His wife told him bluntly that they were giving them away as door prizes! Her husband non-chalantly brushes this aside and tell his wife that "I had a dream last night too. They were auctioning off Pussys. The loose ones went for $500.00 and the tight ones went for $1000.00. The wife, not quite thinking he would come back at her asked him how much one like hers sold for. Sell? The didn't sell yours... where in the hell do you think they held the auction!

Country Drive

A old couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. They just had an argument and neither of them wanted to admit they were wrong. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."