Nine Marriage Quotes

1. Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them.
2. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife.
3. May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid.
4. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife.
5. May you never leave your marriage alive.
6. May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house.
7. Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken
8. My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day.
9. My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. 

What A Happy Marriage Is Made of...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

Others Before Me

The morning after an all-night honeymoon extravaganza in bed, the newlywed wife snuggles up to her hubby and asks, "Sweetheart, how many others were there before me?"
After a few minutes of silence, the wife says, "Well, I'm waiting."
The guy takes a deep breath and says, "Well, I'm still counting."