Redneck One Liners Continued

You might be a redneck if...

• More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
• You think the stock market has a fence around it.
• You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
• You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
• Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
• Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
• Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
• You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
• You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
• Your home has more miles on it than your car.

Jiggle The Handle

You might be a redneck if the most common phrase heard in your house is, "Somebody go jiggle the handle."

Smokey And The Bandit

You know you're a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.