You Might Be A Redneck - Gummy Bear
You might be a redneck if you ask your wife whether the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "Its a gummy bear."
You know you're a redneck when you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You might be a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on it!
More Redneck One - Liners!
You just might be a Redneck if:
- You've ever tried to drown a fish.
- You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"
- Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
- You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
- More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
- Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
- Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event.
- None of your shirts cover your stomach.
- You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
- You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
- You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
- Your family tree does not fork.
- Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
- You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
- The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
- Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
- Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
- You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.
- Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
- The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
- Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.
- You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
- Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
- You let you kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.
Pickup Line - Infected
You might be a redneck if your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?"