Signs You Might Be a Redneck

You might be a redneck if...

• You prefer the Sears catalog to Charmin.
• Your blood alcohol content has ever exceeded your I.Q.
• You think deer hunting should be an olympic sport.
• You have a set of 16 matching salad bowls, and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
• You have to call the police more than once a week to remove your drunk mother-in-law from your front lawn.
• Your name is Billy Joe Jim Bob III.
• You ever spent the night in the bed of your truck rather than paying for a motel room.
• None of your zippers have all their teeth either.
• You are driving the car you were conceived in.
• You've ever used scissors on food.
• You've ever re-used a paper plate. 

You Might Be a Redneck... 40

You might be a redneck if...

• You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
• Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
• You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
• You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
• You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
• You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
• The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
• You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
• One of your kids was born on a pool table. 

Redneck Booty Call

That's why they call it a pick-up truck!