A Rock Solid Defense

A redneck was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"

Redneck - Rusted Pickup

You might be a redneck if you drive a rusted out pickup, with a chrome balespike.

Possum Dinner

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for cars.