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The best jokes and joke writers!

Redneck Dayvorce

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce.

Attorney: "May I help you?"

Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."

Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?"

Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres."

Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"

Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."

Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?"

Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere."

Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"

Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."

Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"

Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning."

Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?"

Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want this dayvorce."

Determination

Two 5 year old black kids (boy and girl) went out trick or treating in a rich Texas suburb. The other kids said this Texas Oil Billionaire was giving out iPods. So they knocked on this guys door and said trick or treat. The guy said, "What are you dressed as?" The little girl said, "Jack 'n Jill." The guy said, "You cant be Jack 'n Jill, you're black." So the kids left and came back and the guy said, "And what are you guys supposed to be this time?" The little girl said, "Hansel 'n Gretel." The guy says, "You can't be Hansel 'n Gretel, you're black." So the kids leave upset only to come back a few minutes later. This time they were naked. The guys says, "And just what are you supposed to be now?" The little girl says, "M&M’s, I’m plain and he got nuts"

Piano Uncle

My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.

Thumb's Up

Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker?

A: Stranded.

Mario Mix

Q: How can you tell Mario is racist?

A: He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!