Old Age Jokes - Hearing Jokes

An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that." She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll forget that so you'd better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then went fuming into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a Caribbean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first night, the husband says to his wife, "Up, or down?" The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all night long. The next night, the husband wonders if he'll get lucky again... So, he says to his wife, "Up, or down?" She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all night long. This continues for 2 glorious weeks. When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides. As they retire for the first night home, the husband decides to try the magic words again... "Up, or down?" His wife says, "What?" To which he replies, "During the whole trip, my dear, I said those words every night and you took off all your clothes and made love to me all night long." The wife says, "Ooooh, I thought you said 'Fuck, or drown !".

"I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf." "Bullshit, watch this...Rover sit! Oh dear, you're right, I'll get the shovel and clean it up!"

Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?" "No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."