Work & Office Jokes

Password Selection Directive

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471 In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities, and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities, new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change their passwords to conform to these rules immediately. RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS:
1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example: HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password.
2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ, then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in both passwords.
3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation for a month. Example: MARCHBC is an invalid password. VWMARBC is an invalid password.
4. A password may not contain the numeric representation of a month. Therefore, a password containing any number except zero is invalid. Example: WKBH3LG is invalid because it contains the numeric representation for the month of March.
5. A password may not contain any words from any language. Thus, a password may not contain the letters A, or I, or sequences such as AT, ME, or TO because these are all words.
6. A password may not contain sequences of two or more characters which are adjacent to each other on a keyboard in a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal direction. Example: QWERTY is an invalid password. GHNLWT is an invalid password because G and H are horizontally adjacent to each other. HUKWVM is an invalid password because H and U are diagonally adjacent to each other.
7. A password may not contain the name of a person, place, or thing. Example: JOHNBOY is an invalid password.
Because of the complexity of the password selection rules, there is actually only one password which passes all the tests. To make the selection of this password simpler for the user, it will be distributed to all supervisors. All users are instructed to obtain this password from his or her supervisor and begin using it immediately.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Why study Economics?

Top reasons to study Economics

  1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
  2. Economists can supply it on demand.
  3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
  4. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
  5. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
  6. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
  7. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
  8. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
  9. When you call 1- 00-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Not a Big Deal

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."
The next day, when the man got home his wife asks, "How was your day?"
The man says "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"
The third day they meet at home after work, and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"
She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous