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The best jokes and joke writers!

Blonde Store Clerk

A robber comes into the store and steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Selling In the U.S.

A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases.
1. Only fifty cents
2. Very, very fresh
3. Not today, maybe tomorrow.
A lady came to his tomato stand and said ''How much are these tomatoes?'' The man said ''Only fifty cents.'' Than she asked, ''Are they fresh?'' The man said ''Very, very fresh.'' She then asked, ''Can I buy one?'' The man said, ''Not today maybe tomorrow.'' A thief comes and said ''I'm a thief how much money do you have?'' The Tomato Seller said, ''Only fifty cents.'' The thief said, ''Are you being fresh with me?'' The Tomato seller said ''Very, very fresh.'' The thief said ''Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.'' The Tomato Seller said ''Not today maybe tomorrow!"
The moral to this story is: If you go to a foreign country, learn as much of the language as possible!'

Steal from Lawyers

Jack and Mugs, two second-story men from Flatbush, were comparing notes on recent burglaries. "Didja get anything on that last heist?" Jack asked. "Nuttin' at all," Mugs admitted. "Toins out that the guy that lives there's a lawyer." "Jeez, ain't that the breaks," his friend sympathized. "Didja lose anything?" 

Stealing the Camera

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

February 1, 1993 - Raleigh, N.C.

Police charged Vernon Edsel Brooks, 34, with robbing a Radio Shack in July, despite his foresight in disabling a video surveillance camera by taking the camera with him as he fled. Because he forgot to take the recorder to which the camera was connected, police found a tape containing a full facial shot of Brooks reaching for the camera. 

Blonde Robbery

A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet." The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun." The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.The blonde said, "You're an idiot, there's no bullets in the gun." The man replied, "You're the idiot, there's no money in the wallet."