Little Johnny's John Wayne

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, "it taught those Indians not to fuck with John Wayne."

Johnny and His Final Exam

Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test. First the teacher asks, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"  Johnny replies, "Legs." So the teacher asks, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?" "Pockets," Johnny replies. Finally the teacher asks, "And Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?" "Rome," is his answer. With that the teacher turns to the principal and asks, "Well, shall we pass him?"  "Better not ask me," the principal says, "I got the first two wrong!"

Cranking

Little Johnny is caught swearing by his teacher. “Johnny, you shouldn’t use that kind of language ,” says the teacher. “Where on earth did you hear such talk?” “My daddy said it,” replies Johnny. “Well, that doesn’t matter,” explains the teacher. “You don’t even know what it means.” “I do, too!” replies Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”