Fencing Elephant

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Cat Knows Password

1. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy." 
2. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
3. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip..
4. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna. 
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "Cyber-Dog."
6. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it. 
7. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.
8. On IRC you're known as the Iron-Mouser.
9. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.

Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. "What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief. "Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"