If Men Ruled The World

• Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
• If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
• A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
• Birth control would come in ale or lager.
• Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
• Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.

Women's T-Shirt Sayings

• I'm out of estrogen. I have a gun.
• Guys have feelings, too. But like... who cares?
• I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
• Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
• I hate everybody, and you're next.
• Please don't make me kill you.
• And your point is ...
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
• I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
• Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
• Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
• You KNOW you want me. 
• Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time.
• Of course I don't look busy. . . I did it right the first time.
• Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
• I'm multitalented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time.
• Do NOT start with me. You won't win.
• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
• All stressed out and no one to choke.
• I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
• If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
• Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.
• Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• Objects Under This Shirt ARE Larger Than They Appear.

Happiness

May the bluebird of happiness crap all over your wedding cake.