Measuring

I was laying in bed reading a book when my Dad walked in with a retractable metal tape measure.  When he got about five feet away from me he stopped and started pushing the tape out to me.  It got closer and closer till it eventually pokes me in the cheek.
I asked him, "What are you doing?"
Then Dad said, "I'm measuring your patience"

Extroverted Nerd

Q: How can you tell an extroverted nerd?
A: He stares at YOUR shoes while talking to you.

Asian Whisper

Do the horses hear something completely different if the whisperer is Chinese?