Traveling Salesman West Virginia

A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.  "Son, is your mother home?" The little boy nods yes. "Can I see her please?" The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep. "Son, do you see what your mother is doing?" The boy nods yes. "Do you know what that is?" The boy nods. "Doesn't that bother you?" "Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Skylights

I had skylights installed at my place the other day...the people that live upstairs are really mad!

Remarks Never Heard At Daytona

• None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth.
• Tampax! Get your Tampax here!
• Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!
• Sex with your sister? Man, that's sick.
• My God, this is a splendid Merlot.
• Hey, you with the large breasts, out of the way. We're trying to watch a race here.
• Jeeves, be a good man and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone.
• What a coincidence, Hank, all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too.
• These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert.
• Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor.
• Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley.
• And now, singing our national anthem, international recording artist Boy George.