Too Honest

Mom, how did I come to this world? "Well, your father and I planted a seed together," the mother said.
"From that seed, we grew a marijuana plant, then smoked some weed and had sex on the washing machine."

The Accident

It was my birthday and my dad and I where driving on the highway when we saw a terrible accident. My Dad said, "This is the worst accident I've seen in 20 years!"
Well, yeah, it was my 20th birthday.

Playground Fun

I love taking the kids to the park. The laughter. The joy. The shouts of "Higher! Push me higher!" and their shouts of "Dad, when's it my turn on the swing?"