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The best jokes and joke writers!

What Not to Eat

Q: Which part of a vegetable can you not eat?

A: The Wheelchair!

Dad's On Fire

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!

Shut up and get the marshmallows!

Scary Woods

"It's awfully scary in these woods, mister!"

"You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"

Cannibal Leftovers

Q: Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for dinner?

A: He got the cold shoulder.

Cannibal Food

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ah ha!" he replies. "No wonder.. those are friars!"