Rabbi Trouble

The Rabbi rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community." No one moved. The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!" Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan, I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Fresh Cut Sod

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck loaded with freshly-cut rolls of sod drove by. One of the blondes watched the truck then said,  " I'm going to do that when I win the lottery." " Do what?" asked the other blonde. "Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Rooftop Sunbathing

A rather well proportioned young blonde woman, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.  She wore a bathing suit the first day, but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.  She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. 
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs.  "The hotel doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly.  "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight!"