Q: Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
A: Her knickers fit her like a glove!
Yo Mama - Pencil
Yo mama so skinny when she wears yellow she looks like a #2 pencil!
Cops After You
The cops must be after you, because it's illegal to look that good.
Boy Born With a Head
A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm pops out. After the next shot a torso pops out. After more shots, suddenly, he has a whole body. The boy runs out of the bar and gets hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looks at the father and says, "He should have quit while he was a head."
Beauty Parlor Magic
Some beauty parlors do a great job. One young man followed a young woman for twenty blocks. Then he found out it was his grandmother.