Coffee and Donuts

Q: Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Alec Baldwin Ego

A lot of people think I look like Alec Baldwin. They don't actually tell me that, but I'm pretty sure that's what they're thinking.

The Elegant Crapper

A man with greasy jeans, a flannel shirt, and work boots approaches the headwaiter in an elegant restaurant. The man says, "Hey buddy, where's your crapper?" The headwaiter calmly replies, "Go down the hall and turn left. When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen,' pay absolutely no attention to it and go right inside."