My Rooster, Your Donkey

Q: If I have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey bites off my rooster's feet, what do you have?
A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.

Collector

We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off. Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.

A Brazilian Parrot

A middle-aged man receives a Brazilian parrot for his birthday. The only problem with this parrot is its attitude due to the influence of its former owner, who is a deceased truck driver. The parrot loves to swear up and down at everything it sees. One day the man comes home with a gorgeous woman for a candle lit dinner. The first thing the parrot says is, "Hey bitch how much for a handjob." She takes one look at our middle-aged friend, and runs out the door. The next night, our friend is visited by his mother. The parrot opens up with,"I'll suck that crusty coin-slot crack of yours for a senior citizen discount, if you lose that over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder, and wiggle those droopy dum dums for me. Our friend receives a smack that leaves a fire-engine-red print, followed by a future threat from his father. Well Our frustrated friend can stand no more. He grabs the little motherfucker and throws it into the freezer. After about 15 minutes of swearing and kicking from the bad bird, all is quiet. Another 5 min of silence passes by. Our friend gets curious and opens the fridge. The bird calmly perches on his finger. "Have you learned your lesson?" he sternly said. All the parrot can say is, "I sure have. I just have one question. What the fuck happened to the chicken?"