Polite Sheep

Q:  What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
A:  After ewe!

Nice Parrot

There was a man who traveled all around the world. Every city he stopped in he would buy something for his mother and send it to her. On one such stop he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. He immediately bought it and sent it home to his mother. A few days later he calls his mother. "Did you like the parrot?" he asked her. "Oh yes," she replied. "It was delicious." "WHAT!" the man cried. "You ate it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat! It spoke thirty languages!" The mother paused for a moment and then said, "So why didn't he say something?"

What Lives On Nothing

Q: What insect lives on nothing?
A: A moth, because it eats holes