Airplane Jokes - Crash Jokes

The Photographer and the Pilot

A photographer from a well known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park.  When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level.
He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air.  He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.  He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!''
The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.  The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs."
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Sky Noise

Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees. "Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?" Radar: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

What to Wear

Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time. The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna put me on sum hot pink panties beefo' I gets on dat plane." "Why you gonna wear dem fo?" the other two asked. The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady said, "Well, then I'm a-gonna wear me some Floe resant orange panties." "Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked. The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."
The third lady says, "Well, I aint gonna wear no panties." "What No panties?" the others asked in disbelief. " Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain't wearing no panties cos, honey, dey always look for da black box first."

Anonymous