Swallowed a Mouse

A man swallowed a mouse while sleeping on the couch one day. His wife quickly called the doctor and said, "Doctor, please come quickly. My husband just swallowed a mouse and he's gagging and thrashing about."
"I'll be right over," the doctor said. "In the meantime, keep waving a piece of cheese over his mouth to try to attract the mouse up and out of there."
When the doctor arrived, he saw the wife waving a piece of smoked herring over her husband's mouth.
"Uhh, I told you to use cheese, not herring, to lure the mouse."
"I know, doc," she replied, "but first I've got to get the darn cat out of him!"

Easy for you to Say

"I can say prince, pretty, proud, protect..."
"That's gweat doc, now stop being a pwick and hewp me pwease"

Will It Hurt Doctor?

Patient: (to cosmetic- surgeon) 'Will it hurt, doctor?
Surgeon: "Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown".