Technology Jokes - Internet Jokes

Q: How did pirates communicate before the internet?

A: Pier to Pier Networking

Q: Why do porn sites have a share to Google plus button?

A: I don't want my friends to know I have Google plus.

Q: Why is the Microsoft Search Engine is called Bing?

A: Because Its Not Google (BING)

1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy-----for a year!!!!!

2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.

3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."

4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!

5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.

6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.

7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.

8. Tech support calls YOU for help.

9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."

10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.

11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.

13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.

14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.

15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.

18. You say......."Where did the time go??"

19. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

21. You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......

22. You need to be pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.

23. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL...ASAP".

24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ****kisses*****.

25. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.

26. You're on the phone and say "BRB"

.27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood-shot eyes.

28. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.

Some folks have it, some don't.

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior.

They think it gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it.

Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark.

Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours.

If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda.

Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior.

Later you may ask yourself "Why on earth did I do that?"

It has no conscience and no memory.

Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.