Remember when, Technology...

Remember when ...
A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show, A window was something you hated to clean and ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend and gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things and that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment, a program was a TV show, a cursor used profanity, a keyboard was a piano, Memory was something that you lost with age, a CD was a bank account, and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy, you hoped nobody found out. Compress was something you did to the garbage not something you did to a file and if you unzipped anything in public you'd be in jail for a while. Log on was adding wood to the fire, hard drive was a long trip on the road, a mouse pad was where a mouse lived, and a backup happened to your commode. Cut you did with a pocket knife, paste you did with glue, a web was a spider's home, and a virus was the flu. I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper, and the memory in my head. I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash, but when it happens they wish they were dead.

Computer Died

Ted: Last night my computer died.
Ned: What did it die of?
Ted: A terminal illness

Cray Toaster

If Cray made toasters...
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world, at least for a couple of years.