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Sexist Jokes - Private Parts
I Wrote It
There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in her before."
The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on my way to find a job."
The owner asks, "What do you do?"
The guy says, "I write music and play the piano."
The owner, looking excited says, "REALLY!? I have an ad in the paper looking for someone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for me if you're interested." The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talent and musical abilities.
The owner says, "You play the piano more beautifully than anyone I have ever heard! What is the name of that song?"
The guy says, "I wrote that song and the name is Two Lesbians Fucking Their Brains Out."
The owner gasps and is taken back. He says, "My gosh, that's a terrible name for such a beautiful song. Do you know any others?"
The guy smiles and plays again. Once more the owner is astounded by this guy's talent and musical abilities. He's almost afraid to ask but he does ask what the name of the song he just played.
The guy answers, "I Fucked Her All Night Until She Couldn't Take Anymore."
The owner again was shocked. The owner says, "Ok, you play beautifully and the songs you have written are incredible. I will hire you, but you have to promise not to tell the name of your songs to the patrons." The guy agrees.
That night the guy was playing the piano and the crowd was just as amazed as the owner was with this man's musical abilities. After playing two songs the crowd stood up and applauded. The guy was really pleased and stood up to take a bow. When he stood up and faced the audience, it was apparent that his zipper was open and his dick and balls were hanging out. One of the patrons close to the piano says, "Sir, do you know your dick and balls are hanging out?"
The guy smiles and says, "KNOW IT? I WROTE IT!"
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Smoke After Sex
Boyfriend: Do you smoke after sex?
Girlfriend: Dunno, I've never looked
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Still in Mourning
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this... a black condom?" He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences!"
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