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The best jokes and joke writers!

4 Gay Guys In A Bar

Q: Four gay guys walk into a bar. There is only one 4 legged stool left, how do they sit???

A: They turn it upside down.

Getting a Divorce

Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, "I want you to help me get a divorce." The Lawyer says, "OK, what are your grounds?" "My husband is getting a little queer to sleep with." "What do you mean?" asked the attorney. "Does he force you to indulge in unusual sex practices?" "No," replied the woman, "and neither does the little queer."

Deductive Reasoning

Neighbor 1: "Hi, there, new neighbor, it sure is a mighty nice day to be moving."

New Neighbor: "Yes, it is and people around here seem extremely friendly."

Neighbor 1: "So, what is it you do for a living?"

New Neighbor: "I am a professor at the University, I teach deductive reasoning."

Neighbor 1: "Deductive reasoning, what's that?"

New Neighbor: "Let me give you an example. I see you have a dog house out back. By that I deduce that you have a dog."

Neighbor 1: "That's right."

New Neighbor: "The fact that you have a dog, leads me to deduce that you have a family."

Neighbor 1: "Right again."

New Neighbor: "Since you have a family, I deduce that you have a wife."

Neighbor 1: "Correct."

New Neighbor: "And since you have a wife, I can deduce that you are heterosexual."

Neighbor 1: "Yup."

New Neighbor: "That is deductive reasoning."

Neighbor 1: "Cool."

Later that same day:

Neighbor 1: "Hey, I was talking to that new guy who moved in next door."

Neighbor 2: "Is he a nice guy?"

Neighbor 1: "Yes, and he has an interesting job."

Neighbor 2: "Oh, yeah, what does he do?"

Neighbor 1: "He is a professor of deductive reasoning at the University."

Neighbor 2: "Deductive reasoning, what is that?"

Neighbor 1: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a dog house?"

Neighbor 2: "No."

Neighbor 1: "Fag!"

Circle of Friends

Have you heard the one about the homosexual who wanted to enlarge the circle of his friends?

Rooster Pride

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.
"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself." Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.
"You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!" So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. "Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."