North and South Fairytales

Q: What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A: A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

Oh that Feeling

Q: What is that tingly feeling you get when you like someone?
A: It's your common sense leaving your body.

Having Affairs

Q: Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his patients?
A: Yup, it's a shame because he was one of the top veterinarians in the country!