You Might Be a Redneck If... VI

You might be a redneck if...

• Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
• Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
• Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
• Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
• Anesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
• Your Gynecologist is Ernest.
• Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
• The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass. Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw. 

You Might Be a Redneck If, Your High School...

Your high school annual yearbook is now a mug shot book for the police department.

You Might Be a Redneck If... Collection 40

You might be a redneck if...

• There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
• Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
• There is a wasp nest in your living room.
• The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
• You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
• There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
• You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
• You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
• Fewer than half of your cars run.
• You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.