Reward for Saving Obama

One day President Obama fell off a bridge and was saved by three young boys. Obama thanked them and said he'd give them all one thing in the whole world. The first boy asked for a trip to Disney Land and vuala... that summer he was in Disney Land. The second boy asked for a pair of Nike Shocks and sure enough the next day he was wearing a pair of Nike's. The third boy asked for a wheel chair with a plasma TV, cup holders and hydrolics. Obama, looking puzzled at the boy, asked why he wanted a tricked out wheel chair because he didn't look disabled. The young boy replied, "I will be after my father finds out that I saved you."

Democrat Emblem Change

Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.

Hope for Hillary

Q: How did Bill try to cheer up Hillary after Trump's win?
A: He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president until after he had served 27 years in prison.