The Liberal Clothing Store

I went into a Liberal clothing store today to purchase some pants. When I started trying on a few pairs, I noticed that all the pockets except one were visibly removed. I stopped a clerk and ask him if anyone complained. He said, "No, Liberals always want a hand out, so its not a problem!"  I asked what happened to the other pockets. "Don't worry, they don't go to waste: Conservatives use them to line theirs!"

In Exchange

What do you call a prostitute who prefers the British pound as primary payment method?
A quid pro ho.

When That Fool Reagan Said...

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a demagogue. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook. When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear annihilation. When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan had nothing to do with it. Because if that fool Reagan was right all along... ...what kind of fool am I? --Jules Feiffer