Politicians

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. 

Two Alligators

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."
"Well," said the big gator, "what have you been eating?" "Politicians, same as you," replied the small gator.
"Hmm.....Well, where do you catch them?" "Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol."
"Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?" "Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the sh*t out of them and eat'em!" "Same here." says the big gator. "Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?" "I eat the Democrats" says the little guy.
"Ah!" says the big gator. "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the sh*t out of a Democrat, there's nothing left but an a**hole and a briefcase.”

Dress Code

George W. Bush was caught breaking the White House dress code by wearing blue jeans. Bill Clinton responded by saying, "I never broke the dress code. I just didn't wear pants at all."