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The best jokes and joke writers!


If I wrote the alphabet I would put U next to I

Pickup Line - Shoes

Hey, my shoes are having a party, do your pants wanna come down?

You're Cute

Q: Are you a banana?

A: Because I find you appealing.

Power Point

I know where your power point is.

World's Worst Pick-up Lines

  • I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
  • Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.
  • Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
  • Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
  • I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
  • I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
  • My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.
  • Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.
  • I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
  • If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
  • Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
  • Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.
  • Excuse me, do you have your phone number? I've seem to have lost mine.
  • I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
  • If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
  • I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
  • You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  • Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
  • I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into that cheap motel room.
  • The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
  • Guy: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."