Liquid Gold

Q: What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?
A: Au-burn

New scientific element: WOMAN

Element Name: WOMAN

• Symbol: WO
• Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)
• Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.
• Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
• Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
• Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Two Molecules

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!"