Little Johnny Learns Definitely

A teacher was teaching her students the meaning of the word 'definitely.' So she thought if they each got up and used it in a sentence, they would understand it better. So one student gets up and says,"The sky is definitely blue." The teacher says, "That's not always true because clouds can make it look gray." Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says,"But it can look yellow if you don't water it." Then Little Johnny asks the teacher," Are there lumps in farts?" The teacher replies, "Excuse me?" Little Johnny repeats, "Are there lumps in farts?" Then the teacher says,"That isn't even a response to my question, but no there are no lumps in farts." Then he replies, "Then I definitely just sh*t my pants!"

Mom Took Little Johnny To The Doctor

Mom took little johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis. Doctor said, how did such a thing happen? Johnny said, "It's that damn neighbor girl, Suzy. Her braces are too darned sharp."

One Day

Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early.