Holiday Jokes - Valentine's Day Jokes

A woman was taking a nap one afternoon. When she work up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think the dream means?”

“You’ll find out tonight,” he said.

That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “How to interpret your Dreams."

Q: What does a duck wear to a Valentine's dance?

A: A Duxedo.

Q: What is a vampire's valentine called?

A: His ghoul-friend. 

Q: What is a perfect Valentine's Day gift for a woman?

A: A chocolate covered credit card.

A romantic Irishman named Paddy picked up a dozen valentines day roses for his girlfriend. He made a surprise visit to her house and rang her bell. When she opened the door and saw Paddy with the roses she smiled and gave Paddy a big kiss. Then she pulled Paddy into her apartment, seductively got undressed, sat on the couch and spread her legs wide. She said, Paddy, this is for the roses. Paddy said, Don't be silly, you must have a vase somewhere.