The Last Day Working

"You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When......"You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox.
A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?" You wake up hung over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party.

Taking Jesus for a Ride

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures. Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Jimmy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. Pastor Mike walked up to Jimmy and said, "Well, Jimmy, where did you get the little infant?" Jimmy replied, "I got him from the church." "And why did you take him?" With a sheepish smile, Jimmy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it."

Chemistry Christmas Song

Quantum Chemistry
On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the fourth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: four harmonic oscillators, three orbitals, etc. On the fifth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: Five Hermitian Operators! Four harmonic ocillators, three orbitals, etc. On the sixth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: six spin-orbit couplings, etc. On the seventh day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: seven basis functions, etc. On the eighth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: eight time dependent perturbations, etc. On the ninth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: nine Slater determinants, etc. On the tenth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: ten electrons tunneling, etc. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: eleven photons emitting, etc. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: 12 fermions exchanging, etc.