Ads & Newspapers

Signs and Notices 21

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

  • At my University's Student center Bathrooms: "If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police."
  • In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey "Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance."
  • Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: "Rest Area Next Right" - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery.
  • A sign in the local opportunity shop says, "If your going to steal, then smile for the camera."
  • While stopped at an intersection I noticed a man standing on the corner in front of a Burger King. He was holding a sign that read "Will work for food." If he had only looked up, he would have noticed that the Burger King sign directly above him read "Now hiring."
  • At an office: "This job is only a test had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, bonuses and promotions."
  • Seen on a billboard along a highway: "Caution: Objects in the mirror may have flunked drivers education."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Want Ads

  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.
  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
  • Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children
  • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
  • Stock up and save. Limit: one.
  • Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale
  • 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
  • Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
  • Dinner Special -- Turkey $2. 35; Chicken or Beef $2. 25; Children = $2.00
  • For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. Great Dames for sale.
  • Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
  • Man, honest. Will take anything.
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
  • Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
  • Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
  • Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
  • Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
  • Wanted. Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
  • And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
  • We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.30. Free Beer!!. Tomorrow!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Credit Card Commercial That Never Was

Cover Charge: $15.00
Round of Drinks: $23.00
Table Dance: $30.00
Another Round of Drinks: $23.00
Couch Dance and Tips: $50.00
A Round of Shots: $34.00
Another Round of Drinks: $23.00
Lap Dance and Hand Job: $100.00
Private Dance and Hotel Room: $500.00
Sending her on her way without having to cuddle or listen to her, PRICELESS!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous