We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Jews in Mexico?

A German asks a Mexican if they have any Jews in Mexico. The Mexican replies, “Sí, we have orange jews, apple jews, and grape jews!”

Lawyer and Mexican

A lawyer and a Mexican live next to each other in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine. One day, they're both mowing the front lawn. The Mexican says, "You know, my house is worth more than yours."

The lawyer is confused. He responds, "How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?" "No." "Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?" "I didn't." "Then how can your house be worth more than mine?" the lawyer cries.

"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."

Mexican Rubber

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

A: Roberto!

Mexican/American War

During the Mexican/American war, an intense long standoff occurred along the front. For days and days neither side made any advances. Finally, an American general had a bright idea. He aimed his rifle to the Mexican trenches and yelled "Hey Juan!"  A soldier jumped up and replied, "What?" The general shot him dead. This continued for three days. A Mexican general decided that two could play this game and decided to try it out. He called out, "Hey John!!"  An American replied, "John isn't here......is that you Juan?" The Mexican general stood up, "Yeah?!".....

Border Crossing

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We'll just see about that.   Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle. This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about!  I can't sleep! Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?" Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."