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The best jokes and joke writers!

Hellman's Mayonnaise

Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate ("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as ... Sinko de Mayo. 

Mexican Olympians

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an olympic team?

A: Cause all of their runners, swimmers, and jumpers are in the United States.

Jose can you see!

A man named Jose went to America to see the Yankees vs. the Red Socks. When he got the ticket, it said nosebleed section. He did not care what section he was in. Anyway, it was game day. Everyone stood for the National Anthem. When Jose got home, he said, "Mama, they made a song in America just for me." "How does it go, mijo?" "It goes Jose can you see!"

Mexican Hypnotist

A Mexican is being hypnotized by a stage magician in his home town. “You’re in the desert,” says the magician. “It’s really hot and you want a drink.” The Mexican starts panting and licking his lips. “Now you’re at the North Pole,” says the magician. “It’s really, really cold .” The Mexican starts to shiver. “Now you’re in the United States,” says the magician. “You have a good job, a nice house, healthcare…” The Mexican opens one eye and says, “If you wake me up I’ll break your arms.”

Mexican Eyes

Q: What do you call a Mexican with three eyes?

A: Ay, ay, ay!